He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
