i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
