Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
It's no shave November. This is our time.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
