dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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