She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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