Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
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