Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
