normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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