I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Randomize
