my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
