Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
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He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
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I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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