# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
