if i died would you start the facebook group?
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
