her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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