I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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