do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
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