I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Randomize
