This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
