Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Randomize
