i love accidental penises.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
