I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
this boner is exhausting
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
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