My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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