well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
