Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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