If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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