Whats the glycemic index on semen?
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Randomize
