Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I just googled if crying burns calories
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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