That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
