Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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