i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
