Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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