i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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