fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
