Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Randomize
