at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
