That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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