The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
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