Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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