used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize