I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
In America we eat man semen.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
