You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
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