i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
