Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
