there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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