If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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