I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
You know, be my cock's hype man.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
