You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize