My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Randomize
