Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Randomize
