the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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