yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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