Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize