I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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