Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
