I never want to see another naked old woman again.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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