I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
