If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
