Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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