I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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