So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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