i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
