Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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