is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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