no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Someone signed my nipple.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
His nipple licking is glorious
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